Dear Lafayette community, It has been a busy year. Expansion plans, political protests and a hunger strike that made national news are just a few stories that we’ve covered this academic year. At times, it is exhausting. At others, it’s frustrating. But, always, it’s rewarding. National discussions around “the media” today tend to revolve around […]
Cross country assistant coach Christopher Straub left his position, the college confirmed this week. A new track and field coach will be hired before the next season begins in the fall, Vice President for Campus Life Annette Diorio said. College officials would not elaborate on the reason for his abrupt departure. Straub was at Elizabethtown College […]
For decades the Democratic party has been known as the home of those who label themselves as left-leaning, liberal or progressive, yet I am increasingly unable to agree with that sentiment. For evidence of this argument I turn to the recent events of the Syrian bombings of the past month, and the ongoing strife between […]
Just as plans for Lafayette’s new glass elevator went public, reclusive billionaire and candy mogul William “Willy” Wonka and his Chocolate Factory have sued the college for theft of intellectual property. Scheduled to be built next year, the elevator will cost the college $9 million and at least one goose laying golden eggs. The court […]
After being swarmed with outbreaks of norovirus, influenza and ringworm, Dr. Jeffery Goldstein announced to the campus that he can no longer take what students are dealing to him, adding he was feeling a little queasy. Luckily, his successor has been groomed for years: energetic golden retriever and acclaimed medical professional Munson is taking over […]
White supremacist John Spencer ’15 said he is happy he found a group of friends he can talk about issues with and “not be labeled a bigot.” “Inclusion is one of Lafayette’s ideals, and that means the ability to voice and hear any idea,” he said. “What better way to do that than allowing white supremacists […]
Despite the fact that Lafayette’s new temporary dorms are not going to be ready for next semester as planned, the college said there will be no problems finding housing for the extra 100 students. Director of Residence Life Moe Homes said he has “a really good buddy, Jim, who would totally let the 100 additional […]
Women and unaffiliated men alike are outraged at the latest “open” party entrance fee hike which went into effect last Saturday. Many, men in particular, feel that with the rising cost of a social life they will have no choice but to stay in on the weekends. This is the sixth recorded fee hike since […]
Student government has called The Media “fake news” for failing to cover their budget meeting and committee updates on Monday. The Media has apologized and said they would cover the meeting. Student government president Biggy Ghoe ’20 said she was infuriated when the press came out on Friday with few details of the meeting’s events. “We […]
In a Galilean development, sources have told The Lafayette that former football coach Frank Tavani was fired after a heated argument with Athletic Director Steven Spheresberg over whether the Earth was flat or not. The source said the altercation occurred when Spheresberg bought Tavani a globe in recognition of his 30 years of coaching with the college. Tavani – […]
Previously thought to have reached the lowest readership possible on a campus this small, The Lafayette broke rock bottom at 4 p.m. last week after Dave Smith ’14 in Lower Farinon realized he was not holding the New York Times. An exclusive investigation by The Lafayette has revealed that the paper didn’t lose its readers – […]
While shouting, “Here’s to you, ECON 247!” on top of a Milo’s table on Monday night, Lafayette student Dan Kaparti ’18 told reporters he would show up drunk to his exam tomorrow to bring down the class average. Crowds cheered as they realized they also didn’t study, but wanted a higher curve. “I do really like […]
Under intense time pressure, the sustainability office is pulling multiple all-nighters to turn in a book report overdue since 1997. Despite the college listing “writing book reports on time” in its mission statement, officials said in a statement, “We tried reading the Cliff Notes of ‘Silent Spring,’ but they were too long.” “Each member of […]
Students woke last Tuesday morning to find a tent pitched on the quad. Onlookers were confused until a crowd witnessed President Alison Byerly emerge at around 9 a.m., dressed in business casual and gathering sticks to build a fire. “Temperatures dropped last night,” she said, “but luckily I was wearing my extra-warm pajama-skirt suit, which I had […]
