Kelley: Robert Griffin III – RGIII looked rusty and out of place in Monday night’s season opening loss against the Eagles. He is coming off major knee surgery and coach Mike Shanahan opted against having him rush often (5 rushes, 24 yards). It might be awhile before we see the RGIII magic from a season ago.

Mike Wallace – Wallace fled to Miami this offseason and got the contract of his dreams. But his Week 1 performance of one catch for 15 yards did little to excite Dolphin fans about his arrival. His frustration was evident after the game and throughout the week.

Stevan Ridley – Ridley started poorly, running three yards up the middle before fumbling. Fortunately for him, it was overturned, but his misfortune was just beginning. Ridley finished with nine carries for 46 yards and a lost fumble – surely not the performance the Patriots are hoping for.

Kowaleski: Unfortunately, the names I’m about to list are members of my own fantasy team. Needless to say, Shenanigans & Tomfoolery Inc. didn’t have the best Week 1.

Lamar Miller — Reggie Bush’s replacement was a highly touted sleeper in the offseason, rising to the upper half of the draft board in some leagues. He went in the fourth round in mine, but in Week 1 he ran 10 times for three yards (a dismal 0.3 yards per carry) and added a reception for seven yards. Sadly, his performance was the best of the bunch. The Dolphins’ o-line was bullied by a Browns defense that stacked the box the entire game, but hopefully QB Ryan Tannehill and the passing game will loosen things up for Miller and the run game next week at Indianapolis.

Zach Sudfeld — Sudfeld, Rob Gronkowski’s erstwhile replacement while Gronk recovers from a bevy of injuries, finished with zero catches on one target. That target led to an interception. He was a popular start due to his involvement in the TE-heavy Patriots offense, but he was a dud. Want to hear something super pathetic? He earned zero points, but Sudfeld still finished better than the next guy on my list.

David Wilson — HE ENDED UP WITH NEGATIVE POINTS. This joke of an athlete, who I somehow thought was good enough to take in the third round, rushed for 19 yards and fumbled…twice. For those of you who aren’t math majors, that means in most leagues he ended up with around negative two points. Negative. Two. It doesn’t get worse than costing your teams points.

The Seattle Seahawks have announced that they’ll plant undercover cops wearing opponent’s jerseys in the crowd this season.

Kelley: The first thing that came to my mind upon hearing of this was that San Francisco Giants fan that suffered brain damage after a beating at Dodger Stadium at a 2011 Opening Day game. That was senseless and brutal violence.

Violence among fans is silly and stupid. Growing up going to Pitt-Penn State games or Steelers-Ravens games, I saw my fair share of fights. It came across as pathetic that two grown men were fighting because of their different jersey colors.

The idea from the Seahawks is brilliant. There is no better way to prevent violence among fans in such a highly charged and tense atmosphere. Violators will have to complete a four-hour online educational course for $75 before returning to the stadium. Season tickets will be revoked for the more horrific behavior.

This has my stamp of approval, that’s for sure.

Kowaleski: BOOOOOOOO. Unruly fans are the best part of games. As much as I appreciate the secret-agent espionage the Seahawks are employing, the 12th man is the best thing Seattle has going for them. Subverting them is not the way to go, they need to be further embraced!

Look, fan violence sucks. But this isn’t Europe, or Egypt, or South America, where dozens of fans are killed every year. Here, if someone falls from the stands or gets seriously injured, it’s covered on a ton of news outlets. There, people are trampled, beaten, and otherwise mangled. How about hooliganism? The formation of gangs formed around certain teams and employed only to kick the bejeezus out of enemy hooligans?

Better yet, how about the Brazilian soccer referee who was freaking drawn and quartered this summer?! That’s some medieval ish. I’m not playing with that, I’ll take our mild skirmishes and be happy with that. Leave well enough alone.

We have a few drunken scuffles here and there. But we don’t have out-and-out gang violence built around our sports. Let’s loosen up, Seahawks. Embrace the (relatively) wild side.